When I was in first grade we had general testing the first week of school. I scored extremely high on the math section and I scored in the bottom 3 students in the reading section. That is when the red flag came up. The teachers knew I wasn’t dumb… but something was defiantly not clicking. So I began to go to special classes with a tutor to work on my reading but those did not seem to help. I remember on my 8th birthday I was tested for dyslexia and my mom took me to McDonald’s to get an ice cream cone (I do have the biggest sweet tooth in the world.. I know impressive), and give me the news. She asked me if I wanted to be like her (and I obviously did/do because she is a super star) and then she proceeded to tell me that I am now even more so because I am dyslexic just like her. I then asked if I could go play and she said yes. I had zero understanding to what dyslexia was, I thought I was being tutored because people just love me a lot and wanted to spend extra time with me. But as I grew a better understanding of what this was and I started to see how it affected me it wasn’t as fun. I do not see things backwards, and it is not like I have an eyesight problem where I do not see words correctly. The way that I understand it, is that I am mildly dyslexic and one side of my brain processes words when in reality the other side should be doing the work. I tend to mix letters in words up in my head, or I will substitute letters in order for the word to sound better to myself. The funny part is that I do not even realize it. It can be extremely frustrating but when God shuts a door he opens another, and I believe that although I may not be the best writer or the quickest reader, the Lord has gifted me with other talents and strengths in order to glorify him! I love to laugh about my dyslexia now because I think it is funny, and there is no shame in not being perfect. I love to joke and blame things on my dyslexia just because I can and I do love to make people laugh. It is an ongoing joke with all my friends. Now with all this said, there is A LOT more to Allie than just how my brain reads. This is by no means a label in my life it is just something that is unique to me, The Lord does say that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and for that I give God praise.
So you may be thinking why on earth would this gal title her blog, “Words from the Dyslexic”… or maybe you are not wondering that at all… either way I am going to tell you. First off, I am not sensitive at all about being dyslexic, now. Back in the good ‘ole days that was a different story, but I am a strong believer in The Lord making us a certain way for a reason, and so I love to own the fact that I am dyslexic. The other reason why I titled it this was because I was attempting to be creative and this was the first thing to pop in my brain. I wrote a paper in high school reflecting on what my experience is like being dyslexic and I shortened it down 7 pages to one paragraph so you can have a better understanding of me of what that is like for me. I have zero intention in making this blog about my dyslexia but I figured I should just address it from the start. I love who the Lord has made me, and I love the fact that everyone has a different story and everyone comes from somewhere. Here is just a glance of a little bit of my story.
I had it… then I lost it. Frustration rushes through my brain. I am lost and confused and it seems like right when I get close to finding a way out I get shoved right back into the little, cold, blue seat in my classroom, with laughter all around me. I know my problem. I get close to becoming much better then little voices come into my head, followed by a “nice try” and laughing. Oh… the laughing. At first I was confused until I was told I said the wrong word. I am the girl no one picks to read aloud. I am the girl who strikes out on the first round of spelling bees. I am the girl who is dyslexic. My dyslexia has taught me to face challenges in pursuit of my goals. In a strange way I see my disability as a gift. I realize that I can never compare myself to others, but must work hard and focus on being the absolute best Allie I can be. This mindset has helped me to overcome my challenge. There are still times when I get humiliated or teased, but I know everyone faces a struggle and the key is how people respond to it and what they learn from it. I respond to my difference by telling myself I can succeed. Just like my mom always says, “whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
When life gives you melons… you may be dyslexic, but I’ve learned that those melons are really lemons so I might as well make some lemonade 🙂